Everyone longs for companionship, it's human nature. But when we get a companion how do we treat them? Do we treat them with love and respect, are we honest, do we trust them? Probably not!
We nag, accuse, snoop, start false arguments and disrespect our so called loved ones just to satisfy, unbeknownst to us, our temporary insanity. Your better half may get a phone call where they fail to mention a name and oh boy there goes the attitude.
We want a significant other but when we get them they become punching bags for our blows of insecurity. We have to first understand that we are not perfect, so people are entitled to make mistakes. When we go into a relationship looking for the bad, nine times out of ten we are going to find “the bad.” If we go into a relationship looking for the good, we will find “the good.”
We must release past relationship garbage! I know it can be hard, but it’s worth it if you’re trying to find that special someone. Most people don’t even know the real reason they get into relationships. For many, it’s because they’re scared or embarrassed to be alone. But honestly that’s what we all need, some alone time.
After each relationship whether it was a good one or bad one we have to give ourselves a check-up, not the kind where you go to the doctor, which may not be a bad idea depending on the type of relationship you had, but the kind where you re-evaluate yourself.
Well how do I do that, you may ask? It’s simple. You just have to get reacquainted with yourself. Whether we know it or not a relationship can do one or two things: bring you up or pull you down. And when it’s over, we have to determine our damage. Some people can walk away without a scratch and others are not so lucky. But regardless of the damage, pat yourself on the back because you have made the first step and for some the hardest. You decided to leave!
The second step is getting to know you again. This is the fun part because you are building a relationship with yourself. Once you have a sense of self you gain a new found freedom built around your wants, needs and desires. Once you do this you can then determine what you will and will not accept in a relationship.
Now the third step is a matter of reflection. You have to determine what went wrong in the last relationship, what did you gain, what did you lose, did you grow or did you regress if you determine this now you can go into your next relationship on a clean slate and a little wiser. If you fail to do this, you will find yourself comparing your new partner with your old one and more than likely falling back into the same kind of relationship.
After you have done your reflecting, it’s time to set your standards- not six months into a relationship. It’s a matter of knowing what you want and getting what you deserve.